This would be the third Christmas that I am spending without my mother. The first Christmas was the worst as the wound was fresh fresh. This Christmas I thought would have been better but I was forced to reopen the room and enter into a room that I thought I would not need to enter alone. I was faced with the realization that as strong as I want to be. I am not as strong as I think I am.
Is it better to marry young or to wait until you are ready?? What about the 80/20 rule?? What if you meet someone in your 40’s and get married is that good enough time if you both live till you are 80. Is 40 years enough time, what about 60 years. How much time spending with another person is enough time. Is there such a thing as spending too little or too much time with a person. As I was driving home from work, I began to think of all the decisions that I had made in my life and where my life would have been if I had made alternate decisions. Would I have been happier, maybe I would have been married with a few kids or enjoying traveling all around the world. What really would have been my life.
There is a saying that the grass is not always greener on the other side. Many of us have heard some variations of it growing up. Whether it is don’t follow after friends or for you to be grateful for what you have. We all hear it and usually that it is the end of the conversation. For whatever reason you are left upset or sad because it didn’t go your way. Then a few days, weeks, or months later something happens and your parent comes back with that “I told you so” and you have to admit that in that instant the grass was not greener. However, if we are all getting those same conversations then why are we so inclined to go to the other side. What is it with the “keeping up with Jonas” that makes us do things that put more hardships on ourselves to look a certain way?? Do we need to downgrade who we want to look like or is their a balance between the grass and where we are right know??
Its funny to think that taking a few days off can lead to more stress when you come back. I took a few days of to unwind from everything that is going on. Since I am in an industry that is considered essential, I have been working nonstop through this whole thing. So, when I took a few days of just to relax, I came back to a whole bunch of upgrades and changes. It took half a day to figure out the new changes and another half of day to implement those changes. I left work feeling more stressed out than I was before I went on vacation. Is this what work/life balance is, being a stressed out version of yourself because you chose to take the time off.
Is it not always fascinating the buildings that you see when you are driving through a neighborhood. Some times it can be as simple as going a block and you move from a ghetto to overly priced apartments. This all happens because someone decides that these buildings should be worth more than the buildings across the street. This then causes problems because the residents of those buildings can no longer afford the cost of living from the buildings across the street.
New residents then come in and the neighborhood then brings in more high end stores to bring in more high end customers. know those mid range customers are know low end customers and can not even afford the price of bread in that community. They have been pushed out and many of them can not bounce back and then are pushed unto the streets.
We see them driving, or maybe we see them standing n front of a building begging for change. Some of us will give out the change that we have in our pockets. Others will give a look of disgust at this person who is ruining their neighborhood. Then there those who judge and scream at telling them to get their lives together there are options out there for them. We don’t look at tit like this may have been their neighborhood first and because of gentrification they were not on]ly pushed out but pushed unto the streets and they do not have anyone to offer that helping hand to help them get back on their feet. I look at it as if something was to happen would there people offering me a helping hand or would I have people judging me, and telling me to do better???
We all have that one thing that we are proud of. The one thing that you can brag about and say that you do well at. What happens when you ignore it, you stop doing it for awhile and you waste away. Life has its shares of ups and downs but it also has what we like to call regrets. You regret not saying yes, you regret not going down that path. You regret, you regret. I use this forum to help undo some of that regret but as a way for others who may have regret or do something that they might regret later.
There are moments in your life where a first impression comes into play. That is the moment in which you hope that you gave a good impression and cringe when you remember that it was a bad impression. I can probably count on one hand how many times I have honked my horn in traffic or at another car. Why you may ask?? I remember reading a story about how a man was driving for an interview and not only was blowing his horn at the person in front but cut them off for the parking spot. As the man waited to be interviewed the interviewer walks in and it turned out to be the person that he not only honked at but cut for the parking spot. In terms of first impression i know that individual was cringing on the inside. I look at every encounter whether direct or indirect as an opportunity for a first impression. Whether I meet them know or down the line. I try not to have cringe worthy moments. Today I bumped into an old client of mine. While our encounters were never wonderful I still said hello and tried to have a conversation. however, today I passed her off to another associate not because I was unwilling to help but because I knew. I knew that if the conversation went beyond the pleasantries it would not be good. I have had recent encounters with them that started of nice and always ended with a bad taste in my mouth. I chose to stick to pleasantries and allow someone else to help them. Although it may seem as if I am passing the buck I look at it as understanding my limitations.